Quiet Thoughts

Welcome to the Quiet Thoughts blog by The Introvert Sisters, two INFJs with a lot to say.

Take a scroll through some of our favorite pieces, old and new.

The 12 Commandments of Introverts™: Part 1

Introverts just want to be understood. Even though that somehow keeps eluding us, we’re still determined to do our part to help normalize introversion, and build bridges between us and our more extroverted friends. To that end, we present to you The 12 Commandments of Introverts. Read on to discover what makes introverts tick, what makes them shut down, and how to successfully relate to the introverts in your circle.

  1. Thou shalt text, not call

    • Random phone calls are a violation of the highest order. And unannounced video calls/facetimes are even worse. Word to the wise: in either case, most introverts will 100% let the call go to voicemail. Then we’ll text you back. This rule also applies in the new “let’s hop on a Zoom call” culture. Everything does not need to be communicated via an energy-draining, cameras-on call. 

      If it’s textable, message-able, or email-able, please don’t call.

  2. Thou Thou shalt leave us in our shell

    • Please stop asking us to come out of our shell. First: the implication is that introverts are deficient or incomplete just by dint of how we show up in the world. Second: Our shells are comfy. We like it there. Third: Introverts are not constantly trying to get extroverts to be less loud and ubiquitous, so please show us the same courtesy, and let us exist in peace.

  3. Thou shalt not engage in small talk

    • Two introverts walk into a crowded bar...and probably walk right back out. Who wants to deal with awkward conversations with strangers who are standing way too close? Introverts tend to prefer deep, meaningful exchanges with small groups of people rather than superficial convos with large gatherings. So no: we don’t want to discuss the weather, but for topics like the meaning of life, or dismantling the patriarchy, we’ll be fully engaged.

  4. Thou shalt honor our personal boundaries

    • Don’t touch us. Don’t touch our stuff. Don’t stand so close. Don’t facetime/video-call without warning. (Yes, it needs to be repeated.)  And don’t just show up at our house unannounced. The door will likely stay closed. Please show some respect and consideration.

  5. Thou shalt let us enjoy our alone time

    • For introverts, alone time is like oxygen. While extroverts tend to gain energy from being around people, introverts usually find it draining. It’s partly a matter of sensory overstimulation. So after being around too many people (e.g. after being in the office or attending a party) we need to be alone to decompress and regain our internal equilibrium. 

  6. Thou shalt give us time and space to think

    • Introverts are deep thinkers, and often have great ideas—but we might need a moment to process our thoughts. Most introverts also tend to express themselves better in writing, rather than verbally. This means that in group settings and brainstorming sessions, we might not be as easily able to ideate and respond on the fly. So, in the spirit of being inclusive, give us a second to process our thoughts, and if possible, let us communicate them in writing. Also, a concept: the loudest person does not necessarily have the best idea.

At the end of the day, introverts are not mysterious puzzles to be solved, nor are we projects to be “fixed.” We are whole, nuanced, deeply feeling humans who thrive when our energy, boundaries, and brilliance are honored. These 12 Commandments (hop on over and read Part 2) are our love letter to every quiet soul who has ever felt misunderstood, and an open invitation to everyone else to meet us where we are.

As we prepare to relaunch The Introvert Sisters LIVE! we hope this guide helps you laugh, think, and recognize that introversion is not just a personality type: it’s a superpower. And when introverts feel seen, supported, and celebrated, everyone benefits. Make sure to read Part 2 of The 12 Commandments of Introverts so you get the full picture.

Quietly,

Sharon & Lisa, The Introvert Sisters

The 12 Commandments of Introverts™: Part 2

Welcome to Part 2 of The 12 Commandments of Introverts, where we continue our gentle but determined campaign to help the world understand that quiet people are not enigmas, glitches, or under-functioning extroverts. We are simply ourselves. In Part 1, we laid the foundation for how to better honor our inner world, our communication style, and our deep commitment to peace. In Part 2, we’re diving into the remaining commandments that shape how introverts move through life with intention, clarity, and a firm grip on our boundaries. Whether you love an introvert, lead an introvert, or are an introvert, this next set of commandments will help you relate to us with more ease, humor, and respect.

7. Thou shalt celebrate our quietness

(Quietly) hype us up, and love us as we are!! Everybody cannot and should not be the same. Introverts provide some much-needed balance in this extroverted world. So stop trying to change us.

8. Thou shalt not confuse introversion with shyness

They are not the same. Introversion is a personality trait that relates to sensory processing. Introverts tend to become easily over-stimulated. They therefore need less sensory input, and recharge by spending time alone. Extroverts tend to require high levels of stimulation and interpersonal interaction. They recharge by being around people, and time alone drains them. Shyness is not a personality trait, but instead relates to a fear of being judged, and a tendency to exhibit avoidant behaviors as a result. So it’s possible to be (as I occasionally am) an outgoing introvert, or a shy extrovert.

9. Thou shalt  not ask us why we are so quiet

This is so rude. Imagine if you were constantly being asked why you are so loud. (Which, by the way, you are.) See how ridiculous and impolite that sounds? Ok, good. Do better.

10. Thou shalt not involve us in unplanned events

It’s not that we don’t want to attend, it’s that we need some time to prepare. Most introverts are not fans of spontaneous activities. We need to mentally adjust to leaving our shell. Once we have our prep time, we’re good to go. 

11. Thou shalt normalize RBF

This. Is. Just. Our. Face. Please stop asking us to smile. Please stop asking us if we’re upset. We’re fine. We just choose to not walk around grinning all the time. This is simply our neutral facial expression. And that’s perfectly normal.

12. Thou shalt not try to make us into extroverts

Self-explanatory, right? Normalize accepting, and better yet celebrating, a range of personality types. Introverts are awesome!!

And with that, we bring our 12 Commandments of Introverts to a close. Our goal is for these commandments to serve as a roadmap for deeper connection and better communication. All we introverts want and need is some space, some understanding, and the freedom to show up as our beautifully quiet selves.

If these commandments made you nod, smile, or feel seen, then you are already helping to rewrite the narrative around what introversion really is. Wherever you fall on the introversion/extroversion spectrum, we invite you to carry this wisdom into your relationships, your workplaces, and your own self-care rituals. When introverts are honored, we flourish. And when we flourish, the whole world gets a little softer, a little kinder, and a lot more authentic.

Quietly,

Sharon & Lisa, The Introvert Sisters


A Belated Introduction to The Introvert Sisters

Let us introduce ourselves.

BEHIND THE MIC

As you know, our names are Lisa and Sharon, aka The Introvert Sisters. We really ARE sisters. Sharon is Big Sis, and Lisa is Little Sis. We’re a two-woman hosting, production, editorial and IT team, lol. We take a “divide and conquer” approach to make sure we can get it all done. If you’re talking to us on Instagram and Facebook, you’re most likely talking to Lisa. But if you’re responding to an email or blog post, then you’re probably talking to Sharon. YouTube could go either way.

GETTING TO KNOW US

Unsurprisingly, we’re both introverts. On the Myers-Briggs scale, we both type as INFJ. We’re also both award-winning authors. Sharon is the author of I’m Tired of Racism, and Lisa is the author of Space To Exhale.

In our spare time, we both write other stuff as well. Lisa blogs, journals, and dabbles in songwriting and poetry. Sharon writes essays, short stories, and poetry.

We’re both Reiki practitioners and feel a connection to something greater than ourselves. We LOVE to travel, although there’s not much of that happening right now, and we’ve also both lived in a variety of countries. Outside the Caribbean, Lisa’s lived longest in the US and Sharon in the UK.

And, of course we’re both unapologetically Black with a capital “B.”

5 FAST FACTS you should know about each of us:

Sharon

  1. I’m an avid reader. The day isn’t complete till I read at least a chapter of the latest book. My tastes are eclectic. Right now my Kindle has two books on racism, several mysteries and sci-fi tales, and some chick lit.

  2. Unsurprisingly, I like word games. My grandfather introduced me to Scrabble at the age of 8 and I’ve been playing Scrabble like games ever since.

  3. I’m a bit of a nerdigeek. I like trying out new things online, and that’s part of the reason I’ve ended up writing online. I started with review sites, transitioned to writing about blogging, then social media, then digital marketing

  4. My favorite episode from season one: the off topic; Second favorite – the Netflix episode

  5. I’ve been a pescatarian for a few decades, and eat vegetarian most of the time.

Lisa

  1. I love all the pretty things. Dressing up is fun and I can really throw myself into it. It’s like putting on a persona that hides my innate introvert.

  2. Words thrill me – and because I’m intuitive, I get as much out of what’s NOT said, as what is said, sometimes more.

  3. I’m a proud puppy mama – my rescue dog King is one of my favorite snuggle buddies – and he loves the same shows I do on Netflix

  4. My favorite episode from season one: the off topic; Second favorite – the Erykah and Jill episode

  5. I’m vegan and loving it. It started out for health reasons, but who doesn’t love fresh veggies?

We’ve really enjoyed starting this podcast and are committed to running it as long as it works for us – and for you. And as activists, we’re committed to showing up with ALL of ourselves. That means the show won’t just be about introversion, but also about what life as a whole looks like for us as Black women, from the light and frivolous to the deep and serious. Thanks so much for listening in and sharing this journey with us.

Quietly,

Sharon & Lisa, The Introvert Sisters

The Introvert Sisters’ Top 10 Episodes of 2020

Well, it’s been a year, hasn’t it? No need to go over all the happenings – check out the last episode of season 2 for that – but we wanted to share the episodes you loved most in 2020. (And if you’re new to the podcast, here’s your chance to catch up.)

1. Corona Chronicles: Is Social Distancing Easier for Introverts? | E 1

Our launch episode dealt with the topic that was on all our minds – the coronavirus, still pretty new to us at that stage. We look at some of the new things we had to get accustomed to like social distancing, more frantic cleaning, and, uhh, toilet paper hoarding.

2. Why Introverts Love Working Remotely and Don’t Miss The Office | E 18

As we said many times through the year, working from home works for us as introverts. Learn why in this episode (plus we talk about shedding those pandemic pounds).

3. Want to Start a Podcast? Learn From Our Mistakes. | E15

Though this episode isn’t our personal favorite, you enjoyed this rundown of our pandemic project, and our tips for those of you thinking of launching a podcast yourselves. Plus we look at the technical difficulties of the remote lifestyle.

4. Corona Chronicles: Working From Home? Get 10 Tips for How To Deal | E2

Again, working from home is our thing, and I (Sharon) have been doing it for a while. We talk about how to make it work for you in this episode.

5. How To Be Social on Social Media When You’re Anti-social: Part 2 | E14

We’re still mystified about why the second part of our exploration of social media is so much more popular than the first, but there you have it. Listen to find out how we introverts can thrive online while remaining firmly antisocial.

6. Are Introversion and Shyness the Same Thing? | E12

Words matter, especially to us as writers, so we get down in the weeds about the difference between introversion and shyness – and yes, there IS a difference.

7. Quarantine and Chill: 5 Shows to Get You Through the Lockdown | E 3

Streaming services won big in 2020, since more people were at home. This was an early episode sharing what we’d been watching – and we vent about the people who can’t measure six feet, too!

8. Corona Chronicles: Is Toxic Positivity Making Self-isolation Hard? | E4

It can be hard ot be positive all the time, and it’s wrong to expect it in the middle of a pandemic. We talk about why it’s ok to feel overwhelmed, what to do about toxic positivity (hint: don’t let it ruin your life), and how to make life more manageable.

9. Don’t be a Lazy Anti-Racist: Stop Performing Allyship and #Dothework. | E 16

After George Floyd’s murder, antiracism became a bigger part of our online activity, and that included the podcast. We talk about those changes in this episode, as well as why it’s important to fill your own cup while doing this work.

10. The 5 Love Languages of Introverts | E 20

What makes introverts happy? Aside from cancelled plans – yes, we went there – there are a bunch of other things. We each share our top five in this episode.

Well, that’s it for now. As discussed in the last episode of season 2, next year, we’ll be back with a new schedule, starting in mid-January. Thank you for listening, and happy holidays!

Quietly,

Sharon & Lisa, The Introvert Sisters

The Introvert Sisters’ Best Episodes of 2021

Hello, lovely subscribers, it’s that time of year when we recap 2021. Let’s start with our top episodes from the past year, in reverse order:

Zoom Fatigue is Real: Why Introverts Find Video Calls Hard | TIS Ep. 34

It’s been more than a year, and like Covid (alas), Zoom calls are still here. From the constant refrain of #YoureOnMute to the after hours video chats, it’s just too much–especially for introverts. Join Sharon and Lisa as they explain why Zoom fatigue is a real thing, and how you can manage it.

Are You “Textroverted”? | TIS Ep. 46

In the ongoing struggle to be understood in a world that is built for extroverts, many introverts choose to become “textroverted.” What is textroversion? It’s appearing extroverted (excited, happy, upbeat, peppy) in written communications like emails, texts, and DMs. The sisters discuss whether they are textroverted, and provide tips for how to weave textroversion into your communication style. Plus, in their “Introverts Unite Separately” segment, Sharon and Lisa chat about the second summer of Covid, whether they should both do a doctorate, and how to cope with the return to office.

Meet James Pogson, LinkedIn’s Poet Laureate: Part 2

The sisters’ convo with James Pogson was so good that it couldn’t all fit into one episode! Ergo: here’s part 2. In this follow-on, Sharon, Lisa, and James continued chatting up a storm (as West Indians do, lol), delving into racism, microaggressions, code switching, and working while Black. And, of course, sharing a few more jokes about West Indian parenting.

A Bloody, Historic Day: Ma’Khia Bryant and Derek Chauvin | TISOT Ep. 8

On April 20th, almost a year after he murdered George Floyd, Derek Chauvin was found guilty on all counts. 30 minutes before the verdict was handed down, 16 year old Ma’Khia Bryant was fatally shot by a police officer. In this TIS Off-Topic episode, the sisters process the hollow triumph of the Chauvin verdict juxtaposed with the murder of Ma’Khia, and discuss a way forward from here.

Yes, Amerikkka. This IS Who You Are: 2021 US Coup | TISOT Ep. 6

Six days into 2021, in a shocking but unsurprising turn of events, the United States experienced an attempted coup, incited by the Seditionist in Chief. Just…wow. There is much to unpack, from the possibility of the orange one being impeached again, to the spate of White House resignations, to the failure of law enforcement officials–and their possible complicity. Join us as we discuss these historic events.

The Biden/Harris Inauguration: Oh Happy Day! | TISOT Ep. 7

Inauguration 2021. Wow. Like the song says: It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life. At least that’s how it feels. President Biden and Vice-President Harris were sworn in on January 20th, and already the country feels like a calmer, more civil, and more hopeful place. From Biden’s and Kamala’s speeches, to Amanda Gorman’s poem, to the fabulous fashion, and yes, all those Bernie memes, Sharon and Lisa discuss all the details and drama around the Biden/Harris inauguration.

5 Interview Questions Global Majority People Wish They Could Ask | TIS Ep. 45

Interviews can be rough, especially for candidates of color. But they are a necessary part of the job search process. What a lot of candidates forget is that interviews are a two-way street: while the company is assessing you, you should also be evaluating them. That can be easier said than done, however. How *exactly* can candidates assess a potential company? Join Sharon and Lisa as they provide clarity around what red flags global majority job seekers should look out for, and what specific questions to ask when interviewing.

Introverts, Black Women, and The Return to Work | TIS Ep. 43

As the world begins to open up more fully, many companies are tightening the screws and insisting that employees return to work. There are a few that are letting their employees choose, some that have embraced the WFH forever model (Twitter, Slack) but it seems that most (e.g. Goldman Sachs, Amazon, Apple) have decided that office is best. Here, Sharon and Lisa, the Introvert Sisters, discuss why they feel companies should not force introverts. Black women, or anybody that doesn’t want to, to go back into the office.

The 12 Commandments of Introverts™ | TIS Ep. 44

Introverts just want to be understood—but somehow that keeps eluding them. That said, the sisters are determined to do their part in normalizing introversion, and making the world a more introvert-friendly place. With that in mind, Sharon and Lisa present to you The 12 Commandments of Introverts (taken from the TIS Version, lol). In this tongue-in-cheek episode, you’ll discover what makes introverts tick, what makes them shut down, and how to successfully relate to the introverts in your circle. Tune in and enjoy!

And our top episode in season three was, drumroll please:

What If Introverts Treated Extroverts The Way They Treat Us? | TIS Ep. 40

“Why are you so quiet?” “Are you upset?” “You need to come out of your shell.” “You should speak up more.” Every introvert has heard phrases like these over and over, and to be honest, it gets irritating. It can be difficult moving through life knowing that just by dint of how you exist, people consider you to be deficient, and that you need to be “fixed.” In this episode, the sisters turn the tables. They flip these questions and statements that extroverts direct towards introverts, in the hope that some behavioral mirroring will show extroverts just how messed up, judgmental, unhelpful, and unnecessary these kinds of words can be.

In 2021, we did quite a few videos, but our most viewed video was actually from the previous year: Don’t be a Lazy Anti-Racist: Stop Performing Allyship and #DoTheWwork.

Other stats

Notable stats for us include:

We released 27 episodes

We covered introversion (of course), as well as activism, politics and entertainment

More than half of our listeners are in the US (54%) with another large group in the UK (12%). We’ve also got quite a few listeners in Canada, Barbados, Denmark, Ireland, the Netherlands, and Australia, with France and Nigeria rounding out the top 10 listener locations.

Here’s what’s coming in 2022

If you listened to our last episode, we talked about managing our time better as we’ve got busier. That has some implications for the podcast. One of those is that we’re going back to being primarily an audio product and putting video on hold for a while. This will help us manage the production schedule better right now, and we’re not ruling out releasing episode videos in the future if resources permit. In the meantime, catch up on back issues on our YouTube channel:

Thank you for listening, and we’ll catch up with you in Season 4. In the meantime, we’ll be sharing quotes on our Instagram profile and our LinkedIn page, and if you want to make our Christmas very merry, you can support our podcast on our brand new Patreon page. Wishing you the happiest of holidays and a great new year,

Quietly,

Sharon & Lisa, The Introvert Sisters

The Introvert Sisters Podcast Wins Silver in the 2nd Annual Anthem Awards | Press Release

JERSEY CITY, N.J., Feb. 15, 2023 /PRNewswire/ — The Introvert Sisters podcast announced today that it has been honored for Best Podcast in the Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion category in The 2nd Annual Anthem Awards. Lisa Hurley and Sharon Hurley Hall are the Co-Founders and Co-Hosts of the podcast, which has achieved a Silver Anthem Award.

The Introvert Sisters is a Black-owned, woman-founded podcast that leads conversations around what it means to be Black and introverted. The show aims to celebrate the amazingness of introverts, destigmatize introversion, and advocate for greater inclusion, understanding, and belonging of introverts in professional and social spaces. The podcast also amplifies broader, intersectional issues affecting racialized people who identify as neurodivergent and introverted.

“On behalf of my sister and I, thank you to The Anthem Awards for this honor. As introverted Black women, as members of the Caribbean diaspora, we could not be more proud and humbled to receive this award and bring honor to our communities, particularly during Black History Month.” said Lisa Hurley, Co-Founder of The Introvert Sisters. “This recognition in the international sphere confirms that our work is making a positive impact.” stated Co-Founder Sharon Hurley Hall. “It inspires us to keep pushing forward, and advocating for introverts who might not otherwise have a voice.”

About The Introvert Sisters Podcast

The Introvert Sisters podcast is co-hosted by real-life sisters Lisa Hurley and Sharon Hurley Hall, two INFJs with a lot to say. The show celebrates introversion, and shares the sisters’ relatable take on what it’s like to be two quiet girls in a noisy world. The goal of the show is also to help make corporate spaces more inclusive for introverted professionals, expand the default concept of what introverts look like, and make it clear that introverts can be leaders.

Above all, the sisters believe that introversion is a superpower, sisterhood is everything, texting is always better than calling, and you don’t have to be extroverted to live your best life.

Find The Introvert Sisters Online:

Website: theintrovertsisters.substack.com

Facebook: facebook.com/theintrovertsisters

Instagram: @theintrovertsisters

LinkedIn: The Introvert Sisters

YouTube: The Introvert Sisters

To learn more, follow Lisa and Sharon on social media.

About The Anthem Awards

Launched in 2021 by The Webby Awards, The Anthem Awards honors the purpose & mission-driven work of people, companies and organizations worldwide. By amplifying the voices that spark global change, they are defining a new benchmark for impactful work that inspires others to take action in their own communities. Founded in partnership with the Ad Council, Born This Way Foundation, Feeding America, Glaad, Mozilla, NAACP, NRDC, WWF, and XQ.

Anthem Award Winners are selected by the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences. Members include leaders from The Ad Council, Ben & Jerry’s, The Oprah Winfrey Charitable Foundation, and more.

Contact: Lisa Hurley

Email: theintrovertsisters@gmail.com

SOURCE: The Introvert Sisters Podcast